6 Habits to Cultivate Mental Resilience

1. FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE
Mental resilience is about so much more than gritting your teeth whenever things get hard. It's also about looking for ways to overcome those difficulties and embracing challenges with a positive mindset. As an adaptive athlete and coach, I have a unique perspective and approach to any obstacle or challenge. I am aware of a problem but recognize the solutions.

One way to practice focusing on the positive is to find your own positive mantra. Maybe you love mine: stay comfortable being uncomfortable. Or maybe you have an internal affirmation that’s all your own! Whatever your inspirational words are, practice repeating them to yourself in times of stress. In fact, repetitive mantras can have a calming effect on brain activity. Translation: Positive affirmations can calm you down in moments of stress, giving you the confidence and cool head to prevail.

When it comes down to it, attitude is everything. If we can have this perspective, our potential is truly endless and growth is inevitable in all aspects of life.

 2. TRY SOMETHING NEW
It might seem counterintuitive that trying something new can help build confidence. After all, you’re not going to be great at something the first time you try it. However, trying something totally outside of your comfort zone can help you feel more confident in your ability to handle stressful, unfamiliar situations.

Acquiring new skills helps develop a sense of mastery and competence. These skills seemed minuscule in the moment, but monumental in the development of my mental framework for what you may be able to accomplish in the future.

You might also work on developing a “growth mindset. This framework suggests that a person’s abilities aren’t fixed or set in stone. Instead, skills and intelligence can be developed through hard work and determination. Plus, someone with a growth mindset will view setbacks as opportunities for improvement instead of flat-out failures—or worse, reflections of their own worthiness. Challenging yourself to try a dance cardio class for the first time or take up the piano will help you build your mental resilience.

 3. PRACTICE ACCEPTANCE
At the same time, even a growth mindset has its limits; no matter how much you train, you’re unlikely to make the Olympics as an amateur. Coming to terms with the truth and letting go of what you can’t control isn’t easy, but learning to accept the hand you’ve been dealt in life—even if it isn't what you had envisioned—is an important step towards becoming your best self.  

To practice acceptance with grace, consider turning to a mindfulness routine. Here’s why: “experiential acceptance” (a.k.a. not trying to control your current circumstances) is a big contributor to all the benefits of mindfulness—like reducing anxiety and depression, lowering blood pressure, and improving sleep.  

With that in mind, a mindfulness practice or meditation routine can help you accept the unchangeable and move forward. Try meditating in bed or using a visualization meditation that imagines a positive outlook. Whatever you do, remember that there’s power in giving up control.  

Get to the truth and deal with it. When I had my first brain surgery, I knew I was retiring as a pro athlete, and it would never be the same. I will be this way for the rest of my life with a golf ball sized hole in my brain. I did not want to put false hope into thinking I could just replace that part and get back to sports. Instead, I wanted to accept the reality of the situation and own it. 

So, in my head I resolved to turn my life around. I decided shaving my long hair away and having a massive scar on the left side of my head was going to be the best thing that ever happened to me. I was determined to use this unforeseen experience as a catalyst to learn more about myself and growing into the person I wanted to become.

4. KEEP YOUR PERSPECTIVE
It may feel like your life is ending if you've suffered a traumatic event or you've been sidelined by a major injury, but you can build mental toughness by keeping your perspective. See it as it is, not worse than it is. When my head was cut into, my life wasn't over, although in traumatic, life-altering moments, the mind will try to evaluate the situation and adopt a mentality of 'learned helplessness.' This means the tragedy was unforeseen, so the mind assumes all future events may be unforeseen and traumatic.

But you might find some much-needed perspective when you consider what’s true about your situation. Seeing it as it is—not worse than it is—allows acceptance of the hard facts without exaggerating the truth with emotions.

Another thing that might help build mental strength:
Reflecting on past experiences and how you handled them.
What went well, and what would you have done differently?
This type of self-reflection helps build up your stores of resiliency as you learn from past obstacles and put those insights into practice.

Once you’ve analyzed any past struggles, you can start to build new mental strategies for facing hurdles. Set clear plans for how you’ll react to and approach certain scenarios with “if this, then this” strategies. For example: “If I’m not able to work out in the morning, I’ll get out and walk the dog for a 20-minutes after work.”

Throughout it all, make sure you’re remembering your “why.”
What’s your reason for taking these actions?
What’s driving you to maintain your focus during difficult times?
Your “why” is your North Star, so keep it front of mind during potential setbacks. 

5. FIND A ROLE MODEL
Emulating somebody you admire is a great way to build mental toughness. After all, if they overcame similar challenges, why can't you? You are not alone. Find a role model and learn their strategy. See how they moved through and past it. In fact, building your own support system is an incredible way to give your mental toughness a backbone. In fact, having social support helps build resilience to stress.

Not sure where to start? Here are a few ideas:
Find an “accountability buddy” who can check in with you frequently to see whether you’re sticking to your habits.
A professional coach—whether career, life, or fitness-specific—can give you specific strategies and routes to the metaphorical finish line.
Evena group text made up of your best friends can give you encouragement and major cheers when you make progress toward your goal.
Your social support system will help boost you up when your mental strength is flagging.

6. GIVE BACK TO THE COMMUNITY
Paying it forward helps others, but it can also improve your mood, mindset, and entire outlook on life. Engaging in generous acts helps you find a bit of perspective on the challenges you’re facing, making them seem not so enormous and giving you the courage to face them head-on.

Give more than you expect to receive.
Do the unexpected.
Focus on ways to exceed others' expectations.
Be the role model, mentor, shoulder-to-lean-on for someone else.
Selfless acts are contagious.

Plus, getting involved in your local community can help you develop the internal and interpersonal skills you need to build mental toughness—like empathy, problem-solving, developing new skills, and being a positive role model.

I love to give back with what I do as a personal trainer. I have been through hell and back but being able to help others reach their goals is beyond happiness. They’re far more capable than they know or believe. I encourage you to never accept the expectations of others. Instead, strive to exceed them and do the unexpected.